Rightio blokes, Westy here to enlighten the comp about all things regarding mumfls inaugural round 1 waver wire selections. With many teams having massive gaps in there roster, similar to that of lobs front pad and bat on a Saturday afternoon, it shaped as an influential phase of each franchises future success.

1. The bandicoots. (hendo smith) – James Kelly. A sensible pick here from hendo, Kelly has shown through his time at the cats that he has been a steady semi-relevant fantasy selection for many seasons. With the coots crying out for a 2nd tackler in the absence of a shiels this looks to be a low risk pick that should deliver respite to a team that has some coaches asking the question ‘is henry taking this comp seriously?’ On the weekend Kelly came through sticking 2 huge tackles for the coots, wowsers!

2. Shithouse Footy. (jomo) – Dan Rich. After being ripped off at the trade table jomo had the use of his first of 2 ww selections, however it only took 1 for jomo to blow it. Mesmorized by a decent round 1 showing from the perth product, jomo made the error of jumping for rich, whose performance came crashing back to earth a whole 1 round later vs the roos where the rich we all know showed up to play for 120 minutes of footy and earn the shithouse a whole 7 disposals. Fortunately for coach jomo lions staff have informed him that rich sustained an injury explaining the drop in output, but not this poor selection.

3. The Scorwhatevers. (Cicca) – Matthew Stokes. Unearthed out of the rabble that is the dons this year, I don’t mind this pick from Cicca. The former cats cocaine addict come footballer will get increased midfield exposure and should perform admirably throughout the season. With the surplus of eagles in chiccas team stoksey will have no trouble fitting into a squad better known for its affiliation with nose candy than selling legit footy candy on a Saturday night.

4. Shithouse. (Jomo) - Andrew Walker. I thought this guy had done the comp a favour and hung up the boots this season. Sadly that was not that case with jomo handing the blue a lifeline contract into his squad. Im unsure where jomo plans to play walker and after looking at his stats im still none the wiser. A good effort none the less from a coach that had 2 ww selections yet achieved 0 outcomes.

5. The dentists. (Mittens) – Seb Ross. The midfield of the saints looks to be an area that could potentially net a gutsy coach some points with only Armitage and Steven of fantasy relevance. This brings me to ross. In his first outing for the year he notched up 30 disposals 6 tackles, and backed it up with 18 and 6 this week. Mitt will be hoping ross’s output doesn’t continually decline in a similar way to his own batting average this most recent season.

6. Ballatynes Bruisers. (Orban) –Lincoln McCarthy. Yeh I dunno about this selection at all. Has the potential to fill the void left by stevie j and stokes as the cats creative small fwd so I guess there is a logic applied to this selection. Coach orbz has informed me a teammate of McCarthy has labelled him the new hayden ballatyne. If that is the case he should has picked up a goal sneak that operates on a 1:2 ratio of goals: brainsnaps that will get him suspended.

7. The Cowboys. (Marty) - Rory Lobb. Despite the lack of common sense this guy has that is best portrayed by an excuse for a tattoo on his forearm, he does know how to take a grab and for marts sake hell be hoping he learns how to kick a ball this season. After 2 goals 3 and 1 goal 2 this bloke has got potential as a fwd, but could do with some sessions down at gairloch oval where mart is rumoured to do his best work.

8. Puffs Magic Dragons. (Puff) – Matt Rosa. A likable selection here. Offers a depth to a dragons squad. Chopped round 1 with 32 disposals, but didn’t play round 2 showing his age succumbing to a calf complaint.

9. 26 and retired. (Pooks) – Sam Day. Day shapes as an interesting selection for pooks squad, as I see him as having a high ceiling, but accompanying high risk aswell. With a top set of dukes on him this monster could really be anything, but is yet to announce himself as a relevant fantasy player, and until that day he will remain irrelevant.

10. Choobs and Hoobs. (Tommy/Lob) – Tommy Sheridan. This is an absolute stinker of a selection. This reeks of another all too familiar lob blunder with Sheridans round 2 performance of 16 disposals and 4 marks much more Sheridan like, after his round 1 heroics. With ross giving the rest of the comp a 2 game head start, the ball will spend little time in the dockers backline and more time in the subi crowd as the dockers fwds boot goal after goal.