1 - Thou shall always offer a trade in showbag format

2 - Thou shall always concede on Saturday night, for the Lord doesn't work on the Sabbath

3 - Uncontested marks are not blasphemy

4 - The reverends Matt Priddis and Andrew Swallow shall receive a tackle to their stats, simply by winking

5 - If you desire a player to become injured, simply trade him to The Wombats

6 - If thou movest furniture for someone, the payment due is one Nintendo controller

7 - Dubai has no tax. We get it.

8 - That East Coast mid went 4 rounds ago, don't try and pick him again

9 - When Kenty is on the clock, it's actually a sundial

10 - The Chairman is always right, and his will shall not be questioned

So sayeth the Pontiff. Amen.